So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
