the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
