She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize