wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
