Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
