i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
