everyone is single if you try hard enough
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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