It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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