508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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