i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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