I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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