Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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