Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
