Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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