OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Someone shattered a urinal.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize