But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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