Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
