someone threw a dead crab at me
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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