Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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