i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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