so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
