susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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