After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
