you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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