so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I party with great urgency now.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
