He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
