is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
