i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
