It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
