Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
