it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
