Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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