I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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