Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
