dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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