bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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