now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
