If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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