My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think my moral compass just broke
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
