How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
