I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
