So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
