i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he told me I talked like a deaf person
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
