Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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