I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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