That's intense
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize