I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
