I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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