His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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