we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
