Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
