how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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