I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
