a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
