You can't special order awesome
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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