that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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