we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize