yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
