No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
