get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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