i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize