Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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