They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize