Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
