hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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