Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
