Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
