Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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