i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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