You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize