Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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